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Battle Of The Bulge


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Post #1 Guest_Harrytheheid_*

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Posted 11 December 2016 - 03:08 AM

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In a genre that has more than it's fair share of pretty awful movies, does this one deserve the lambasting it's gathered from The Critics down the years as quite possibly one of the very worst WW2 movies ever made?

Well, and this is just my own considered opinion, I'd have to vote a resounding YES on that one.

No matter what way you look at it....it's a grade A turkey..!! (Along with all those more recent Saints & Soldier and similar efforts). Even just the first few scenes from Hart's War are way better in their portrayal of the Ardennes.

 

Perceived wisdom has it that Band of Brothers and the (now) creaky Battleground film covered the events far better, and I'd tend to agree, but wouldn't it be rather excellent to see a brand new production that focused on the Battle of the Bulge from start to finish with at least a nod toward actual history. I'm not looking for a documentary, just a movie on the subject that exhibits reasonable accuracy and production values. Not this load of old cack.


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Post #2 binder001

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Posted 13 December 2016 - 02:53 PM

"Battle of the Bulge" is a guilty pleasure for me.  I detest their version of the story and the complete lack of history presented, but I just love watching the tanks running around.  Those M47s (from the Spanish Army) were an impressive tank with their late 1940's styling.  I also love listening to the twin Cadillac engines of the Chaffees.  The story is tripe but the movie makes you want to drive a tank through a snowy woods.


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Post #3 mitch

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Posted 13 December 2016 - 03:00 PM

I don't agree that its the worst movie made. Its brilliance for me is the fact its so corny and so far from reality. I can watch this again and again and never get sick of it. Some more recent films far deserve the title than this. Would always be in the top half of my watch lists

Mitch


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The truth will set us free


Post #4 Guest_Harrytheheid_*

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Posted 13 December 2016 - 06:39 PM

I don't agree that its the worst movie made. Its brilliance for me is the fact its so corny and so far from reality. I can watch this again and again and never get sick of it. Some more recent films far deserve the title than this. Would always be in the top half of my watch lists

Mitch

 

Some WW2 movies are so corny and so far from reality that they become almost good, and I love them for all the wrong reasons. 

This WW2 movie's just bad for all the right reasons. So we'll have to agree to disagree on this one -- although I suspect you enjoy this film in much the same way that I enjoy Memphis Belle.

Still and all though, this is the movie that introduced me to the delights that could be derived from playing with fireworks and plastic tanks ....concurrently ....in the snow.

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:



Post #5 Guest_Jazzeum_*

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 07:59 AM

I will have to go with Binder and Mitch on this one. I first saw it when I was 16 and lived in Barcelona so it retains a special place for me. Yes, it's not historically accurate but it was also the first movie of which I was aware as an impressionable teenager that showed the Malmedy massacre and although I knew about the Holocaust it still shocked me.
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Post #6 Guest_Harrytheheid_*

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 09:26 AM

I will have to go with Binder and Mitch on this one. I first saw it when I was 16 and lived in Barcelona so it retains a special place for me. Yes, it's not historically accurate but it was also the first movie of which I was aware as an impressionable teenager that showed the Malmedy massacre and although I knew about the Holocaust it still shocked me.

 

Well seeing as the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain -- and that's precisely where it was filmed, only it was during a dry spell with not a flake of snow to be seen anywhere around that there Iberian sun-baked dusty plain which looks nothing remotely like the Ardennes 1944; yeah you're right Brad, it is just a teensy-weensy bit inaccurate, but that applies to just about everything Hollywood has ever released, and isn't one of the reasons I dis it as a turkey.

We all have our own opinions and preferences when it comes to movies, indeed, music, art and anything else -- so it's all subjective, and hardly all that important anyway; and sure I can understand why you guys like it; and sure there's no doubt whatsoever that I, myself, enjoy some equally atrocious movies -- several of them posted here over the past few days.

Having said all that, I can't exactly say I hate it either, because I do in fact re-watch the thing occasionally, if only to get another good laugh at Kojak trying to convince an audience he can act.

It's a movie that also brings back memories for me as well, although in my case they're pre-teen and somewhat less than happy ones. But seeing as they involve me being unable to sit for a couple of days after my Dad tanned the arse off me for almost setting the house on fire when I tried to recreate the movie in my bedroom with a box of matches and a bunch of plastic tanks, (absolutely true story) -- probably better that we don't go there.

:(  :( .... :huh:  :huh:



Post #7 Guest_Spitfrnd_*

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 01:07 PM

Technically based on attention to detail, story, acting and editing, the movie is a mess.  BUT, it has always held a certain appeal to me.  Maybe Gary is right about all those great looking M47s or maybe it is just seeing some of the iconic film legends together in this setting.  Whatever it is, it is certainly NOT the worst war movie I have ever seen and, like Mitch and Gary, I bring it out from time to time.

 

As for the truly worst War Movie, WWII (most are) or otherwise, well the list is long but undistinguished, including more or less in order some of these I have had the misfortune to sample::

 

Inchon (1981), a much forgotten (and rightly so) "effort" about Korea that wasted a nice performance by Sir Lawrence Olivia and underfunded largely by Sun Myung Moon.  It's cartoon cutout special effects just have to be seen to be believed.

Reign of the Gargoyles (2007), a WWII set film where gargoyles take down an American plane and the crew, aided by partisans, fight the monsters with a magical spear that had been taken from the grave of a knight.  I kid you not, what more needs be said.

Lifeboat (1944), a WWII  Allied ship and U-Boat sink each other.  The lifeboat contains Allied survivors and an evil plotting Nazi Captain from the U-Boat.  Trust me the premise is the best part, the rest makes watching grass grow a thrilling treat.  And no, there is no redeeming acting.
Blubberella (2011), this is about, wait for it, an obsenely obese young lady who is a “dhampir,” or rather a human/vampire crossbreed.  A vampire hunter, she is after a large part of the Nazi hierarchy.  It also features Uwe Boll as writer, directer and star, playing Adolf Hitler.  Intended as a spoof it only serves to make fun of itself.
Which Way to the Front (1970), a Jerry Lewis purported comedy entry that is neither Mash nor Kelly's Heroes.  Lewis plays Brendan Beyers III, a patriotic millionaire and 90 pound weakling who after being rejected by the army finances his own private army of rejects to infiltrate Nazi Occupied Europe and win the war for the Allies.  I never had a taste for Lewis movies but this one ranks with his worst.
Hustler Squad (1976), a maverick intelligence officer trains a squad of foxy call girls to go in and assassinate Tojo’s top generals who happen to be unwinding at a Filipino brothel,  No I did not make that up either, rated as the second worst WWII of all time by IMDB.
Allies (2014), if you fancy a WWII reenactment with copious amounts of added CGI blood passed off as a film then this duds for you.  You know you have a problem when the best moments are when an allied soldier will just seemingly teleport behind a Nazi and slit his throat with a knife.  If they gave an award for stupid, this one would be in the running.
And then, who could forget Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS (and its many ripoff contenders).  This might be THE worst WWII film but I am not sure.  I think I need to watch it again to be certain. :o  :P  :lol:


Post #8 Guest_Harrytheheid_*

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 07:24 PM

Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS

 

CLASSIC MOVIE..!!



Post #9 combatmen

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 08:02 PM

I would love to see someone do a historicaly factual, mini-series on the Battle of the Bulge. There are just to many great stories to just do a movie about it.

 BOBBYGMOORE



Post #10 combatmen

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 08:09 PM

I recently watched a good war movie called "Breakthrough" with John Agar and Frank Lovejoy. A better thn B-grade WW2 movie and one of the few that deal with the fighting in the hedgerows after D-Day. Some good battle scenes and a decent story.

 BOBBYGMOORE



Post #11 Guest_Harrytheheid_*

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 09:21 PM



I recently watched a good war movie called "Breakthrough" with John Agar and Frank Lovejoy. A better thn B-grade WW2 movie and one of the few that deal with the fighting in the hedgerows after D-Day. Some good battle scenes and a decent story.

 BOBBYGMOORE

 

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https://www.amazon.c...ds=Breakthrough



Post #12 Guest_Harrytheheid_*

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Posted 14 December 2016 - 10:01 PM

I would love to see someone do a historicaly factual, mini-series on the Battle of the Bulge. There are just to many great stories to just do a movie about it.

 BOBBYGMOORE

 

100% agreed -- and was what I was trying to say in the first place.

It's easy to see the attraction that the old Battle of the Bulge movie has for a lot of us. I'd suggest one of the main reasons, among others, is that it was probably the first sort of big Hollywood movie, in color and with recognizable actors, most of us ever saw that featured masses of tanks. It was also a WW2 battle most of us were aware of and seeing it up on the screen was absolutely thrilling, despite it's obvious faults. It was, and still is, as close as you could get to an animated comic book when it was released way back at the tail end of 1965 -- and then showed up time after time on TV.

What I was saying in my initial post was to the effect that, "in my opinion it's a pile of old cack and is definitely up there as one of the worst WW2 movies ever". In retrospect, I probably ought to have said one of the worst WW2 movies that presents itself as a serious account of the Battle of the Bulge, but as always, hindsight is a wonderful thing.-- and all this waffle of mine is not to say that it can't be enjoyed simply because we know it's actually a pile of old cack.

Almost by default, this thread has become one of those that could go on forever -- just like the interminable wait for "a brand new production that focuses on the Battle of the Bulge from start to finish with at least a nod toward actual history". 

:) 

In reality, what I want from WW2 movies is entertainment first and historical accuracy comes a pretty poor second, but I do generally look for at least that "nod" toward actual history.

Next can of worms I'm going to open up? Why, "FURY" of course....

:lol:  :lol:  :lol: 



Post #13 combatmen

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Posted 15 December 2016 - 02:45 AM

Thats it.

  BOBBYGMOORE





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